CHICAGO -- These are tough times for the Pirates franchise, but I’m here to tell you that it would be worse. A lot worse. I mean, you have no idea how much worse.

You could live in Chicago and be a Cubs fan.

As you might have heard, the Cubs haven’t won a World Series in awhile. The 1908 season to be exact. That was more than 101 years ago.

Think about that.

One century and one year.

One-oh-one.  

The last year that the Cubs won it all, William Howard Taft was elected president. The Montreal Wanderers were the Stanley Cup champions. In New York, women weren’t allowed to smoke in public. Winston Churchill got hitched. A gallon of gas set you back 20 cents. The University of Pittsburgh became the first football team to use uniform numerals. Art Rooney was 7 years old.

Art Rooney Sr.!

What frustrates the heck out of sober Cubs fans is, their team has as many if not more advantages than any in the major leagues.

As one Pirates player told me the other day, “The Cubs haven’t won in forever even with their payroll, and they’re the lovable lovers. The Pirates haven’t won with a lot less, and they’re losers. Is there something that I’ve missed here?”

When the Cubs open spring training, they should fall out of their beds with 90 victories. They’re the Jaws in a division of guppies and minnows. They’re the No. 1 team in the No. 3 market in the country. They also play in a museum that almost everybody adores in a city that almost nobody dislikes.

Know how free agents turn their noses up at mid-market teams? Well, free agents would give their arms to wear Cubbie blue, although as some of my friends here point out, too many of them have, apparently.

Seriously, I can’t think of one free agent that ever said, “Chicago?! Are you kiddin’ me?! I’d rather be in Paducah than play there!”

Oh, and the deep-dish pizza is outta this world here.

No matter. Here it is, soon to be more than 102 years since Orval Overall three-hit the Detroit Tigers in Game 5 of the 1908 World Series, and the Cubs are in fourth place with a 34-43 record, a lame duck manager and a bunch of bad contracts. Their $146.9-million payroll is more than four times that of the Pirates, who have beaten them eight times in 11 tries this season.

Do you realize that pitcher Carlos Zambrano is on the books for $18.9 million himself? The same Carlos Zambrano that went ballistic the other day and left the team to seek professional help?

Smile, Pittsburgh, you ain’t got it so bad.